Whats up with PORTS?

I am walking around campus and I see these kids wearing shorts? I think, they are too long really to be shorts, yet too short to be pants.  So naturally I came up with the name that gives distinction between the two: PORTS.  I have yet to see the practicality in such a clothing item.  I thought the reason we Floridians wear shorts is because we all endure the unbearable heat during the summers.  So wearing the least amount of clothing is generally the result-Often to the demise of most Fathers out there who are presumably loaded up with anti-depressants after seeing their teenage daughter leave the house with less fabric on than it takes to make a handkerchief.  Ports, have another interesting characteristic, they do not fit the individual that is wearing them.  They are literally falling off the person who is wearing them.  These Ports are almost all ways complemented by a bed-sheet for a shirt and a sideways hat that generally has the area code that the individual is "representin."  When I say bed-sheet for a shirt this is not a lie, I actually have the same print on my sheets than the individual who sits next to me in my US Government class.  I happened to glance on the tag that was hanging out it wont fit, his is a king size.  So needless to say I will be making a trip to target on the way home to buy some new sheets.